Thank You For Not Smoking
by Sass Master
Summary: Tifa and Reno discuss cigarettes and what it means to be a badass. 3rd in a collection of 14


Disclaimer: I kickass for not being Squaresoft/Square Enix! Know what that means? I don't own any of the following characters! And you're just not very bright if you assumed I did XD. There is techinically no pairing, though if you were reading it just for the pairing then I don't blame you at all We're all guilty of that! On with sho-- ...fic?

She sighed, bored, tired, lonely. He'd be coming in soon enough. At least she _expected _him to be coming soon. But after over two months of the same routine, surely it was safe to accept that routine as habit? As a tacit plan for a nightly meeting?

That was Tifa's reasoning, anyway. She was holding off on cleaning up the Seventh Heaven. She needed something to do while he was around. She huffed. Him and his uncanny ability to show up as late as possible without getting turned away at the door.

She slumped forward towards the bar on her elbows, eventually resting her head on her folded arms. He's lucky I even keep the bar open for him, she mused. I have a right to close the bar ten minutes early when no one is here. Maybe I could just…

But she jumped up with a start when she heard the door open. There was no need, of course, to look up to see who it was.

"Evenin'!" Cheery as ever. Not just cheery as ever, but cheery when he was disrupting other people's lack of cheer.

"…Hi Reno," Tifa said in a slightly strained voice as she stood upright, stretching.

"Sleepin'?" he asked, grinning.

She rolled her eyes a little. "Not yet…" She looked back on him, waiting for him to continue. He just kept his unceasing inane grin and an uncomfortable silence ensued.

"The usual, please," he chirped, smile widening. He knew she was only still here because of him, and if he were to be perfectly honest, he loved it. If it were up to him, he'd always have beautiful women waiting up for him and giving him free drinks.

She tried to match his liveliness but was too tired to be very successful. "Sure thing," she said, smiling faintly.

She shook her head slightly as her eyelids drooped from exhaustion, willing herself to stay awake as she fetched his drink for him. It was made quickly, fueled by her eagerness to return to her home and her welcoming bed, but it was not without its usual and expected perfection.

Placing it on the counter, she slumped back into her semi-conscious perch on its surface, resting her chin on her folded arms.

He took out a pack of cigarettes from some location behind the bar that she could not see from where she was. He took one out and lit it up, moving the nearby ashtray closer to him.

Tifa wrinkled her nose in distaste. Reno quirked an eyebrow at her as he put down his drink.

She winced inwardly. She'd been hoping he hadn't noticed.

"Don't like cigarettes?" he asked casually, tapping some ash into the tray.

She awkwardly avoided his eyes. "Not really, no…"

He scoffed. "I figured you'd be used to it, being a bartender and all," he said, taking another drag.

Straightening up, she scowled a little. "I didn't say I wasn't used to it, I said I didn't like it," she repeated.

He looked thoughtful but slightly annoyed for a moment. "Is the smoke really that bothersome to you?" he questioned.

She stood fully upright now, and felt more awake now that she was having an actual conversation, albeit a dull and pointless one. "It's not the smoke," she insisted.

"So what then? It's—"

"The smokers."

"Yeah?" he said, eyebrow shooting up again before taking another sip of his drink. "What's so bad about them?" he asked, setting his glass back down.

She shrugged, now regretting voicing her opinion. "I dunno, they're kind of… losers? Obnoxious?" Now that he'd asked she couldn't really figure out how to express what she meant. It was just a weird personal judgment, after all.

He laughed shortly, ignoring the fact that his cigarette was burning away to nothing. "Really? I though smoking was supposed to make you, you know, cool," he smirked at her.

"Oh no," she said, "It's cool on some people. You know the really…" she searched for the right term, "badass guys who are already so tough and cool that anything they do just adds to it."

He opened his mouth to say something but she continued.

"Every one else is like…" she once again looked for the proper words to illustrate the image in her head, "You know, those gay guys with the tight shirts and the spiked up hair who go toraves and are way bitchier than most women?" She grimaced slightly as she said it, concerned she wasn't making herself clear. She turned around looking for something to make her seem busy.

Reno was certainly interested by now. He finished his drink and started drumming his fingers on the countertop. It was a habit Tifa was usedto by now, but one that had driven her to the brink of insanity for quite a while when he first started showing up.

He was thinking. Those were the only two types of smokers to her?

"So…" he started, putting out the ashen remains of his cigarette in the glass ashtray, "Am I a badass?"

Tifa looked up from the nearly empty bottle she was frowning out. She'd have to go to the back room to get a replacement.

She laughed. Mischievous—was it mocking laughter? Was she _mocking _him?

"Oh Reno," she said with a feigned sympathetic sigh, playfully swinging the bottle back and forth in her hand as she walked to the back room, looking over her shoulder at him. "A badass wouldn't ask a question like that," she finished with a smirk fit to match the one that usually graced his face.

He watched her disappear around the corner, and was about to argue with her. But he realized—she was right. She was _totally _right. He muttered a few swears under his breath.

He _tried _to keep up some kind of cool image—especially when pretty women were involved. He'd obviously failed with this one.

Damn. He felt defeated.

But… a smart-ass was pretty close to a badass… right?

AN (These are fun, huh?): It's just stupid dribble-drabble-babble-ness. I had to get it out of my system. I apologize for anything that is not explained thoroughly. You must understand it makes so much more sense in my own screwed up brain :P ...


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